Ecclesiastes 4:12a “…a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Our Creator designed threefold universe. The universe is divided into space, time, and matter. Each one of those divisions has three parts as well. Space is separated into length, breadth, and width. Time is past, present, or future. Matter exists as solid, liquid, and gas. The trinitarian universe is made up of three groups of threes. The same is true in marraige.
Marriage is held together by three human institutions, three parts of man, and by three partners in marriage. Let’s examine this three, three-fold cord.
Threefold Institutions of Marriage:
1.) The Church
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Marriage was designed by God and its purpose was to display the glory of God. Temporary marriage (“as long as we both shall live”) displays the eternal glory of Christ and His love for His bride the church. In every marriage there is an opportunity illustrate the glory of God and the gospel.
Marriage vows are made before the church. The couple is “promising God and these many witnesses” marital fidelity. The couple will make themselves accountable to their congregation. The church in turn is reminded that she is the bride of Christ, and Jesus faithfully keeps His covenantal vows to His bride.
“The message of the cross is foolishness to the natural man, and so the meaning of marriage is foolishness to the natural man as well” – unknown
2.) The Government
Human government was established by God. Government’s authority is “ordained of God” (Gen. 9, Romans 13). Government recognizes marriage and binds the couple together with a legal bond.
3.) The Home
God established the first home. He conducted the first marriage. He gave away the first bride and He preached the first wedding sermon, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). When a man “leaves” (cuts the apron strings) and “cleaves to his wife,” a new home is formed, a new culture is made, and a new family loyalty is formed.
Notice that physical union and intimacy alone do not make up a marriage. Living together without the involvement of the church, government, and the home is not a marriage. When Christ spoke with the woman at the well, he identified her as having been married five times, but the current man she was living with was not her husband (John 4:16-18).
Threefold Unity in Marriage
“And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (I Thessalonians 5:23)
1.) Unity of the Spirit
When we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ as our Saviour we are born again from above by the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ moves into our hearts and our lives by His Spirit. Because of salvation we have Spiritual union with Christ and with other believers. In a Christian marriage is a spiritual union. The relationship is a vertical relationship with God and a horizontal relationship with our spouse. The child of God finds mercy, love, and grace vertically with God and then is able then to give mercy, love, and grace horizontally to their spouse.
Married believers are brothers and sisters in Christ. They are to be prayer partners, worship partners, and spiritual communication partners. The husband and wife are two different people with the same Holy Spirit. They have a spiritual cord binding them together.
2.) Unity of the Soul
The soul is considered to be the seat of our emotions. Marriage is an emotional bond. Joy, laughter, sorrow, and the common experiences of life intertwine a couple together. They bear one another’s burdens and they experience the sorrows and blessings of life together. What is said of a friend is true of married couples as well, “A friend doubles joys and divides our sorrows.” This the soul’s bond. Together the couple is “heirs together of the grace of life…” (1 Peter 3:7).
3.) Unity of the Body
Marriage is a physical union. “They two shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5). In marriage the couple no longer has “power” over their own body but their body belongs to their spouse (I Cor. 7:4). After twenty years of marriage, I have a deeper understanding of the term “one flesh.” I can look around my house and see three faces that look a little like mine and a little like my wife’s. “They two shall be one flesh.”
Spirit, Soul, and Body, each one ties us to our mate. These three cords need to be cultured and maintained. A couple might not always agree on what temperature to set the thermostat, the speed to drive on the road, or on major purposes, but they have the same essence and overarching purpose in spirit, soul, and body. These three cords are binding them together.
Quote: “If two people agree on everything one of them is unnecessary.”
Threefold Partnership In Marriage
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1.) Christ –
A Christian marriage is not just better than a non-Christian marriage. It is altogether different. A Christian marriage is different because the union involves three persons not just two. Christ is to be the true head of household. The husband and wife are in submission to Christ. Both the husband and the wife’s goal for the other is not conformity to each other but conformity to Christ (Eph 5:1). If the couple grows closer to Christ, they will also grow closer to each other.
2.) The Husband
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” (Eph. 5:23) “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,” (Eph. 5:25-26)
The husband is the spiritual leader. He is the “saviour of the Body.” The husband is to lay down his life for his bride as Christ did for the church. Jesus washed his bride with washing of the water of the Word of God. Every man is to provide loving spiritual nourishment and protection for his bride. Husbands who become fathers are also required to bring up their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. God places the burden of spiritual responsibility directly upon the man’s shoulders. When the first family fell into sin the Lord called out, “Adam where art thou?” God continues to calls to the “Adams” of every household to spiritually lead their family.
3.) The Wife
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph. 5:22) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph. 5:33)
She is a helpmeet for her husband (Genesis 2). She follows her husband’s leadership, and she reverences him. Her husband praises her in the gates, she is her husband’s crown, his heart safely rests in her, and her children “rise up and call her blessed” (Proverbs 31). The three, threefold cord binds a marriage together. Three institutions: Church, the government, the home. Three parts of a man: spirit, Soul, Body. Three partners in the home: Christ, Husband, Wife. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. The only way to break this bond is by separating one cord from another